My Sweet Marie

Archive for May 2011

If you only have one smile in you, give it to the people you love.

-Maya Angelou

 

*** How true, how many times have you smiled for a stranger then not for your own family? Keep the smiles for those you love, if you only have a few one day…just saying!

Sweet Marie

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Pay attention to your dreams-
God’s angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep.

-Eileen Elias Freeman

If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Sir Winston Churchill

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies!

ANON

Yesterday a good friend was sharing with me a story about a young couple they knew, married only nine months and they are separated!  I don’t even know this couple, never met them but I felt so sad. I guess there was a lot of fighting and I thought this is what I need to blog about today. I know so many young couples, newly married or about to get married so hopefully they are reading and learning from this! If you know a couple that needs help in this department, please share with them. Let’s make this world a little more peaceful place, bit by bit. Feel free to share my blog site with your friends/family on twitter, Facebook or e-mail.

Denis and I have been married for 30 years, in this time we have argued once or twice, ok maybe a few more times than that! I learned very early on in our marriage that yelling really bothered Denis. He would shut down as soon as I started the banshee act, and I thought to myself “Self, this ain’t working for me”, so…

Rule#1 – No Yelling!!! It accomplishes nothing, you can get your point across simply by speaking in an even tone and more than likely he/she will listen longer. If you feel you are losing your partner, their eyes are no longer focused, think where is my voice tone? Keep your tone low and you will hold their attention.

Rule#2 – No Name Calling!  This is not a way to treat people you love, use simple statements like… I feel ____, I need ____, Will you please ___, etc. Name calling is hurtful and accomplishes nothing but anger. Use verbs like need, feel, want, like etc.

Rule #3 – State your needs! – I am so tired of people whining about this or that about their mate and he/she doesn’t even know they feel this way. Tell you partner exactly what you’d like to have happen. For example, Please put the toilet seat down when you are finished! There done, easy. If he needs a why, try this.. I need the toilet seat down because when I get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, I am in a coma and don’t appreciate the butt dip! Especially if you were the last one to use it and you did not flush! This should clear up the dilemma real quick, if not, I suggest a nice wet snuggle with him when you get back to bed, I’m thinking tomorrow night it’ll be down! Sorry I digress…

Rule #4 – Never, ever impose your will/strength on your wife.  This says it all but bares repeating. There is never an occasion where it is ok for a man to impose his will on a woman, not physically or emotionally. Never. No excuses, it’s not right. Nor it is ok for a woman to poke her finger in her husbands chest knowing he won’t fight back, (he was raised better than that!), keep your hands to yourself at all times, well…when fighting anyhow!

Rule#5 – Chill Out! Sometimes arguments get heated, there is nothing wrong to taking a step back and either of you saying I need a minute to cool off. Go do whatever relaxes you, walk, garden, fish whatever…but do promise each other to discuss the subject further and come to an agreeable conclusion. Do not chase your husband/wife out the door if he needs a breather, let him/her cool off, it’s ok!  The key is to come to an agreement eventually and that’ll be much easier if cool heads prevail.

Rule#6 – Never fight in front of the kids, it changes who they are. – I know we did really well with this rule over the years as not that long ago, at dinner Melanie, our youngest said to us, “remember that time you guys were fighting”…and I OK she only saw us fight once, that’s not so bad. Denis and I are known for our evening walk, sometimes it has been used to air out our issues and being out in the public helps keep you to the rules too!

So if you have fighting issues, please practise with these rules, it takes time and over time it does get better and easier to know when is a good time to discuss matters with your partner. Feel free to comment and add to the rules!

My wish for you all today is peace in your home.

Sincerest regards,

Sweet Marie

Today I watched the last episode of Oprah and I cried like a baby! I cried for many reasons including the fact that I will miss Oprah! Some of you will say that’s sad seeing that I don’t know her! Truth is, I have learned a lot from her. I have learned that I am worth it! I am worthy of love. I am worthy of peace and I am worthy of respect! I strive for all these things in life and I hope you do too! You are worthy too!

The one thing I got from today’s show is a quote “Take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space” . Think about that statement now, do you get it? When you are in someone else’s space, someone else’s home, office or even just in their personal space in a check out line, do you bring positive or negative energy? Expect positive energy from everyone and carry only positive energy, it can only bring you positive things. 

Over the years, I have learned from her guests too, like Dr.Phil, Dr.Oz…who knew poop would be discussed on daytime tv? This is when I learned my “poop’ issues were not normal and I figured out that I had allergies affecting my health! If not for Oprah, I would still be having these issues today.

Almost three years ago, I was working for Real Women Magazine and I organized a campaign to collect pyjamas for the less fortunate kids at Christmas. We raised 1700 pairs of PJ’s. For that I will forever be proud of, that 1,700 kids had new jammies that Christmas morning. This idea was inspired by a woman I saw on the Oprah Show who had collected socks for kids, and I thought that was so fabulous. I spoke with our local Children’s Aid and I couldn’t imagine that so many kids had no jammies so I got involved. This is what Oprah did, she got people thinking and involved, you gotta love that!

I can’t tell you how many times Denis, my hubby would say “Don’t you Oprah me!” Secretly I loved that he did that because it meant I was as smart as Oprah! And usually it ended in us discussing the issue at hand at greater length. So yes, Oprah, you even strengthened my marriage! I have known you for almost as long as my hubby! Thanks for the tips!

So girlfriend, I wish you well, and my wish for you is a peaceful new life where you are not working so hard and perhaps have less responsibility on your very loving heart!

My Sweetest Regards,

Sweet Marie

I don’t want to brag or anything but I have been told this is the best potato salad ever! bring this to your next family picnic or BBQ!

Ingredients:

  • 3 lbs of potatoes(red,white,sweet etc)
  • 6 eggs hard boiled, peeled and chopped
  • 1 cup radishes sliced thin
  • 4 green onions sliced
  • 1 carrot shredded
  • 1 1/2 cup of mayo
  • 1/3 cup vinegar
  • 2 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp dry mustard

Directions

  1. Boil potatoes till fork tender, peel and dice into cubes.
  2. Add eggs, onions,radishes, carrot.
  3. Whisk together the mayo,vinegar,sugar. mustard, salt and pepper.
  4. Pour over salad ingredients and toss well. Store in Fridge till ready to serve.
  5. Best if made ahead, left to chill for 8-12 hours or so. Overnight is even fine!

Enjoy!