My Sweet Marie

It’s a Pee Sample…So What, Right?

Posted on: February 12, 2011

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday Sweet Marie, happy birthday to me!!! So, it’s official, today I am 49 and proud of it! So many people get freaked out by the number but I plan to write about all the crazy,silly, scary or wonderful happenings in my life on the way to 50! Here’s the first story!

So yesterday I had my annual check up. I always book them right before or right after my birthday so that I don’t forget, cause sometimes I get Sometimerz! Sometimes, I remember, sometimes I don’t! So, I walk in and with a waiting room full of people, the receptionist plops a sample bottle on the counter and says “Go pee”! What is it about the human race that we must all look at that poor soul just handed the sample bottle? Jeesh! By now I’ve removed my coat and boots and head down the hall to the bathroom,in my stocking feet, that’s right, it’s out of the office, down the hall! That’s right, in a public washroom, people from all walks of life are watching me walk down the hall with this dang bottle in my hand, no pockets to hide it, and I can tell you one thing, it ain’t going in my purse! So, I go in and do my stuff, head back down the hall, walk up to the counter and plop it down! My first thought is … hmmm… new receptionist, I wasn’t that long…hmmm…hey where’s my coat and boots…that’s right, I am in a dentist office and I have just plopped my pee on their counter! Well when I saw their receptionist wiping the counter off, I headed out the door for my real Dr’s office! Then I hear it…laughter coming from the office, what are they just handing out laughing gas in this waiting area or what? Cripes, my dentist won’t even give me a sucker! Man they are having way too much fun in there…then it hits me, they’re laughing at me aren’t they? Oh well, I won’t ever see them again, will I?

Well, the real receptionist had no idea what just happened and I wasn’t about to tell her so I just left my sample and went and sat down and when the next guy came in and she handed him a sample bottle, I, like everyone else looked up! Even the lady who was sleeping, I am not kidding you sleeping! Head back against the wall, an ever so soft snore happening and she still looked up! How do we know to look? Human nature is a weird thing!

So, in I go and the nurse asks me all the embarrassing questions that she’s paid to ask and then weighs me to my constant groaning, it’s just a number, it’s just a number! On her way out, this said nurse says, strip down to nothing and put this sheet on. Ok I say. I get undressed and realize she gave me a Barbie blanket, is she kidding? they should color code these blankets! You know pink for little girls, red for the big girls and maybe a powder blue for the petite women but this little orange number she gave me would barely wrap around my little grand-daughter! Come on, good thing I am not vain!

The Doctor comes in and she asks all the usual stuff, hands me all the requisition forms and says see ya real soon! so I head out to lunch across the street at this neat Sushi place, sit down to a quiet lunch all by myself and see the receptionist form that dentist office walk in!! I know she recognized me but I turned my head and pretended not to see her! Really, what are the odds of that happening? I need to go out and buy a lotto ticket!

Good night all, I am headed to a birthday bubble bath and a lovely glass of red wine!

Sweet Marie

49 & Feeling Fine!

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3 Responses to "It’s a Pee Sample…So What, Right?"

cute story I’m sure we all have had an experience like that. One just has to shrug it off and laugh at it like the people in the dentist office. good one

OMG Marie, this can only happen to you.

I know, how does this happen?

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